Hey, there. I thought I would write a few posts before uni starts to get really busy. It already is. This post is about the late Robin Williams and of course, my own personal reflection. I must say when I first heard about his death, I didn’t feel anything at all. My response was: A great actor just died, I hope he rest in peace. That went though my mind. I remembered having this conversation in a group chat. One friend expressed his sadness about his death and another brushed it aside saying that so many people care about his death but do not pay attention about the victims especially children in the Middle East. I added on and said that Robin William’s impact on the world wasn’t that huge and he is just a guy like any other guy. A few hours later, I realized what I said was a terrible mistake. 

First, let me introduce who Robin Williams is. For most people my age, we remember him as the Genie from Aladdin, Mrs. Doubtfire and of course, the guy in Jumanji. For others, Dead Poet’s Society, Good Will Hunting and Good Morning Vietnam come to mind. He’s one of the most talented comedian, improvisational artist, actor and also a philanthropist at heart. He frequently did performances and comedy acts for the American soldiers to support them. All and all, he’s a really good man.

Now, the reason why I said it was a mistake was because as I went through social media and YouTube, plenty of people were paying tribute to this man. Somehow, this felt different compared to other death of “celebrities”. People were genuinely sad and when they talk about him, you could tell that they can breakdown at any time. This guy truly had an impact on people’s lives but how is it that a man whom most people have not seen face to face or had a personal conversation with can affect them. I guess we don’t realize it but we are influenced by things we touch, see, feel, watch and hear. His shows and movies had enlightened so many people because it had heart and the simple joys of laughter can always turn a bad day into a decent or even better one. In the same way some of us look up to Robin Williams as we would a famous president in history, a saint, our friends and families.

The news that he committed suicide because of depression broke the hearts of many and that puzzled people as well because some took to the Internet and said that he was a coward for taking the easy way out. I was really annoyed by those comments because how can we say such things and assume it was cowardice. 

I remembered when I was younger and we were taught that committing suicide is a straight passage to hell (if i remembered correctly). I accepted that but I do not think I ever took that to heart. When I was 16, Brother Albinus; a great teacher, asked us this question in bible knowledge class, “Now, we know that Judas went to commit suicide after he sold out Jesus to the Pharisees. Did he then go to hell?” Some of us said yes. He calmly replied, “We don’t know for sure. How do we know? We are not God. How do we know? He may be in heaven.” I’m not saying that Robin Williams is Judas. No, far from that but what I’m saying is who are we to label someone as a coward when we do not know his story and try to understand him. If you ask me the same question, I would say I don’t know but I know he was a good man who inspired many people to be comedians and actors. I know he was a man who was willing to battle his drugs addiction instead of succumbing to it. 

Depression is a terrible thing that happens to so many of us without us realizing it. This society is not aware of how serious depression an issue is. Have we taken time to ask someone how are they and to make sure one is not depressed? For those that are, have you asked for help? Is it a sign of weakness to ask for help regarding your disease or is it a sign of strength in humility?

On an ending note, I do not agree that suicide is a coward’s way out because they are so many factors and variables to it. It would be naive of me to make a judgement on someone when I have no idea what it’s like to be in those shoes. At the same time, if you are having serious trouble or issues with life, please don’t see suicide as a way out even though it may seem like the only option. Seek help and find someone willing to hear you out. There’s always help available if you open your eyes and ears to it. We stay in our little corner because happiness seems like a thousand miles away but have you tried to walk to your door and open it? 

“Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and I took the one less travelled by, And that has made all the difference.” Robert Frost 

Have you ever had the feeling of having put in so much effort and heart into something, to realize that it’s done and over before you know it?

I know I felt that way after my Malaysia Certificate of Educations studies finished. Another time was my first uni project which just absorbed every single ounce of energy I had. Alas, today gave me that same sensation again. I don’t think I have done much in my life that I would consider them achievements. What are achievements anyway? Are they a scale or measure of ability and skill? Or are they just an illusion to fill us with a sense of pride? Funnily enough, at all the three events aforementioned, I do not think I felt I achieved something. I felt what my parents have thought me in my life. It was something that I never quite get as a child, when you do something, do it well or don’t do it at all. Being a rebellious child, I felt it was ridiculous to think that way because I am a really lazy person. I really can’t be bothered to keep trying and give it all in everything I do.

What happened today you ask? It was the end of my presidency of this society called the Catholic Asian Students’ Society at my university. I and the rest of the committee did not achieve anything. No. It was a journey to reach out to others and to do everything we could to provide that platform for others to truly experience Christ. That’s not an achievement. That’s what we are called to do. My sister was the president of this society seven years ago and I never fathomed I would be in her position one day. Eventually, I did and I had no regrets saying yes to this chance to do something and make a difference along with others in my university. It thought me so much more than I could ever possibly imagine. Of course, I still have one and a half years left to help out the society as much as I could but in a different role.

The question is now that the job you set out to do is done. What do you feel? I do feel a sense of emptiness cause it’s now gone but I also feel a sense of happiness because things are moving forward and more exciting things are yet to come. Right now, I am at the bridge. I am in between the emptiness and the other side. There is no way I could predict what’s on the other end but I can wait, for time is always on your side if you allow it to be. 

On the journey across the river,

Seeing the setting sun, 

Each breath getting heavier, 

The hourglass almost done,

Alas, I see something, 

I step onto the path, 

Staying there laying,

Leaving behind the raft,

Taking it all in, 

For it wasn’t without ease, 

Hope sets out again from within,

Having now arrive at the bridge. 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s been a while since my last post. It’s ironic, isn’t it? I was on holidays for a month and I thought I would post a lot more than well, nothing. Hope everyone is fine and things are going well.

Anyway, I was going through my emails and I saw a sign off from one of my friend’s email. It said, everyday is once in a lifetime, we just fail to realize it. Well, ain’t it profound. I decided to use that quote that in one of the newsletters that was send out cause I was so absorbed by it. So, this was Monday when it happened. I got to sleep in anticipation of the next day. 

Well, Tuesday didn’t feel awesome at all when I woke up. It felt like, well, any other normal regular day. I did what I always do. I put on a fresh pair of clothes, did the yada yada and got out of the house. I got to uni, sat down and had coffee with a couple of friends. (I made uni sound so chil, It really isn’t. It’s week one and I didn’t have classes, I went to talk about committee in CASS and caught up with friends.)

In spirit of catching up, I went to the chaplaincy room afterwards. If you don’t know what the chaplaincy is, my definition of it is that they are a group of people, compromised of priests, sisters and other non-religious that help the students on campus and reaching out to them concerning their faith and well being. It was around 11:30 when I got there so most of them were busy preparing for mass and had to leave but one of them stayed behind. I talked a little bit with him thinking that I was going to leave after 5 minutes. 10 minutes tops.

I ended up having one of the most profound conversations in my life. When I say profound, I don’t mean jumping over couches. Like the quote above, it’s really simple but when you look back at it, it carries so much weight in terms of meaning and joy. This guy is getting married at the age of 23! Wow. He was talking to me about all sort of things. He was telling me about this book that he was reading by Saint John Chrysostom, the amazement of the Christian faith, how he propose to his wife, his excitement with his new job and his potential kids. I knew what a good man he is before this but I never actually had the chance to properly sit down and talk to him. I was mesmerized by his enthusiasm and admiration for everything. 

He quoted Gandhi before I left. He was saying something along the lines of If the whole world was Christian for a day, the whole world would be Christian tomorrow. I looked it up and it wasn’t quite it. It was If Christians would really live according to the teachings of Christ, as found in the Bible, all of India would be Christian today. Whichever it is, it’s still amazing to hear that.

It turned out that Tuesday wasn’t too bad at all. I know that a lot of us are plagued by troubles and worries about a lot of things. Hey, I am too but allow yourselves to be amazed by the little things in life. Life isn’t a bucket of sadness but rather a place to find purpose and meaning in what you do. Everyday is a perfect day to do it. Don’t wait till next year. Don’t wait till new year to make resolutions. Everyday is a chance to do something different. Give yourself that chance. 

Don’t waste today. Have a good day wherever you are. 🙂 

 

 

 

“Forgive? What is that? Honestly, you’re telling me to forgive her for the horrible thing she has done against me? How could I? She broke my trust, my confidence and my heart! She broke it into pieces. After what she has done? No! I’m never forgiving her. Not in my life. She can say goodbye. I’m moving on.”

What is forgiveness? That’s a good question. What does it mean to truly forgive? Is what you are doing really forgiving another person? Initially, I was going to quote the Catechism of the Catholic Church and then proceed with my own definition but I realized that it felt a bit disjointed and also that not everyone reading this is a catholic so I’m going to just proceed with my personal definition.

Forgiveness literally means to forgive another person. If someone has done wrong against you, I really doubt you can forget it. The offence will scar you and you carry that scar with you for the rest of your life. I have a scar on my left arm that was caused by a burning iron. Up till today, it is still there and it’s probably something that I would carry with me forever. Depending on how big the scar is, it might or might nor irk you. You can never truly forget someone’s wrongdoing against you but you try any ways. 

The misconception that people have usually is that to forgive is to forget. No, you don’t. If you can’t forget that crappy cheesy commercial or the annoying jingle, how can you forget hurt? How can you forget anger? How do you forget sadness? Forgiving is about letting go of the resentment and anger that you have. It is about giving up the grudge you hold against the person. When you see the person again, the first thing you think of is not what he or she has done wrong against you but rather you see the intrinsic goodness of the person. In simple terms, forgiving is about love.

I know it’s easy to say forgiving is about love. In reality, forgiving someone is such a difficult thing to do. Forget about our closed friends and family. When we see someone in the newspaper or tabloids committing something that ranges from committing a robbery to saying something silly, our minds immediately just switch to hate that spits out harsh words that we don’t say on a daily basis. We drive that resentment onto social media and in our texting with people. While one’s actions should be judged, is one entirely to be blamed for what they have done? In some cases, their actions deserve to be reprimanded and the person that is responsible for it should be punished appropriately. I realized that in our society, one is quick to judge and not think of one’s intentions behind what he or she has done.

I can’t remember the last time someone has done something really terrible against me. There is probably some but I just need time to remember it. As I mentioned earlier, we don’t really forget anything. However, I do remember the last time I done something really wrong against someone. It felt terrible and I was so distraught at myself. I’m not taking blame away from people offending you but rather I’m saying that if someone were to realize that they have done wrong, it’s honestly a regret so deep you wish you can undo it if you were able to go back in time but we all know that can’t happen. With myself, I always think of the reasons they have done it, why they done it and how did they get involved. Was it partially or purely the person’s fault? When you start to understand someone’s intention behind their actions, that’s when you start to forgive. I shouldn’t really use the word ‘they’ as if it’s a separate entity because they could well be truly us.

Forgiveness is subjective. It depends on the person. It depends on if he or she has apologized. It’s different between guys and girls as well. I’m probably going to get stick for this but girls in general tend to remember people’s faults better. The process might take seconds or years. The length varies for each person depending on their background, individuality, the offence against you and what has the person done to apologize for it. Forgiveness has no logic or algorithm to wrap your head around. It stems from you. It stems from your prayer. It stems from your heart.

It’s a hard thing to do. When you forgive, you are at peace with your past and the person. The burden that holds you heart is let go of but if everyone can do that, we won’t have wars now, would we? Think of the last time you were in a situation where you wanted forgiveness but wasn’t given, how did you feel? Can you really move on without forgiving? 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Spend all your time waiting, for that second chance, for a break that would make it okay, it’s always some reason, to feel not good enough, and it’s hard at the end of the day, I need some distraction, Oh beautiful release, memories seep from my veins and let me be empty, and weightless and maybe, I’ll find some peace tonight.

He stood at the balcony of his apartment while Angel by Sarah McLachlan was playing behind. “What a view this is.” He said to himself. Closing his eyes, he felt every heartbeat of the city, the glory of its lights and the swift sounds of planes flying by. The desire to look into the city from afar and feel its soul and grace running through his veins was something he always desire. Nothing was amiss. Everything was in place. He stood there and took it all in.

* * *

“Hi!”

“Oh, hey. Haven’t seen you in a while.”

“I know right. How have you been?”

“I have been good. Don’t you look beautiful today. Where are you going?”

“I just decided to dress up today. Haha. Glad you like it. Do you have time?”

“Yeah, I do.”

* * *

He was wondering where to go next. He then heard the sound of a door click. Ah, it has been decided for me, he thought. Off he goes, he took the lift and went downstairs. A few more steps it is. It was coming in five minutes, he paced faster and managed to catch the train in time. He looked around and found the seat he was looking for. A ride to the heart of the beginning, he wondered. He shut his eyes and drifted off.

* * *

“Do you think we can live forever?”

“Do you want to?”

“If I could, I would. If I could, I want to be with you.”

He kissed her on her forehead and hugged her.

* * *

The train came to a sudden halt. He woke up with a start and escaped the closing doors just by a little bit. A final dance, he thought. He made his way down the path and walk amongst the lights. The lateness of the hour told him this was a bad idea but really what’s the worst that could happen? A little longer wouldn’t hurt. He finally arrived at the beginning.

* * *

“Remember the first dance?”

“I do. You looked beautiful in that dress. How could I ever forget?”

She started crying.

“Why do you have to leave? Why? Tell me!”

“It isn’t my choice. If I could, I would stay.”

He squeezed her hand tighter. It didn’t help but only made her tears flowed all the more.

* * *

This is it, he thought. It felt familiar, again. He took one step forward. One step backward. He began to dance. A ballad if you will. How nice would it be if he could dance forever. How nice would it be. One day, he said to himself. One day, he will be able to hold her in his arms again.

It was almost time. He stopped dancing and looked at the rising sun. It was time to go. He then turned to her and said, “Goodbye, take good care will ya. It’s time now. Go. Go on with your life. Be strong for me. For yourself. I will always love you.”

He kissed her just liked he used to and left.

* * *

He was here. He danced with me and spoke. She felt it. This was different, she thought. She knew what he would have wanted her to say.

“I will.”

As some of you may or may not know, Arsenal, a football club dear to me had recently won a trophy. (But Augie, what does this have to do with me? I’m not interested in sports. LIke zilch. Like nada. Like never. Augie. Why?) Just bear with me for a while. Where was I? Ah, 18th May 2014, 2 am. Yes, that’s right.

I have been an Arsenal fan for almost 9 years now. I started off supporting them simply because I just decided to. Primarily, they were the best club in England at the time and played attractive football. Secondly, I was naive and I went in head first supporting a football club that I don’t really know about. My family members are not really fanatics of the sport, so I was never under the influence of supporting a football club. The closest I came was when my older cousin was around in Malaysia before he went off to further his studies in the United Kingdom. He was a big fan of Liverpool and because I was an admirer of him then, I rooted for the club he supported too. Eventually time passed and I stopped watching football altogether. I don’t quite remember what made me watch football again and instilled the passion in me. Maybe it’s part of the Malaysian culture. Maybe it was my friends. Nevertheless, this changed my life. I know it sounds a bit far fetched to say football changed my life but just bear with me here.

As I mentioned previously, I started supporting Arsenal out of fun and was a casual fan. 9 years, 1 football, 1 bag, 3 jackets, 11 jerseys later, it wasn’t just “casual” any more. This has now become part of me. Supporting Arsenal was part of my life. When they lose, I sometimes would cry. When they win, the whole day becomes brighter altogether. Have I mentioned that Arsenal didn’t win any trophies at all in 9 years? Frequently taunted by oppositions fans and faced with huge humiliation at times, Arsenal became a punchline and was synonymous with the term “trophyless”. It’s hard to describe the feeling. I can only put it at the same level of courting a girl that you really like but never have the chance to be with her. That was how Arsenal fans felt like at numerous occasions. Downbeat, rejected and hopeless with a tinge of optimism.

17th May (London time) was finally an opportunity to put these troubled times behind us. I told my friend we can’t afford to lose this one. “Today is the day. Today is the day we cry with happiness and joy. Today is the day we feel alive… again.” It was the FA Cup final between Arsenal and Hull City. Although Arsenal were huge favourites, my nerves were trembling worse than an earthquake. This was such an important match to the fans and the club. I went to my friend’s house to watch the final. Waiting in anticipation, we played FIFA and had a good time before the game. Just as the game started, our hopes and smiles were soon extinguished by a two goal deficit in the opening ten minutes. My heart sank. It felt all too familiar. Memories of the losses over the years started creeping into me. This can’t be happening. NO. As I sat there in silence, a goal was struck by a free kick in the 17th minute. I celebrated like mad with my friends. 70th minutes, another goal! The match went to extra time, and in the 109th minute, Aaron Ramsey struck the winning goal. At that moment, I can’t even. I couldn’t. It was a mixture of relief, happiness, joy and shock. If my friends weren’t around me, I think I would have cried there and then.

Why bring up this story? Because it taught me an important life lesson and it gave me an impetus I needed. When you support something long enough, it becomes a part of you. Watching Arsenal play over the years has made me grow in character. Even when they are losing 8-2 to our arch rivals, Manchester United or a simple 1-0 loss, I have never switched off the television or the computer. I stayed till the end if I started watching it. I was never taught to give up. I wasn’t about to at any time over the years. People would sometimes say to me, “Why are you supporting a lost cause? Why are you even do this?”, I would say why not but my optimism and courage may seem encouraging at best but in our society, we are being thought to move on if something doesn’t work out.

They would be asking the right questions. Not just in football but in everything else. Often, my enthusiasm and hope gets beaten down and it’s hard to get back up times and have the same intensity of those emotions. In university, when projects and assessments seem to suffocate the air out of you, you just want to stop doing altogether. In a relationship, when things are not as smooth as you want them to be, you question it too. This applies within religion and government organizations too. The light at the end of the tunnel seems millions of miles away. 9 years is a long time to wait for something but many of life’s great achievements didn’t come in just a day or a week. It comes when you persevere through troubled times. It comes when you keep believing in your vision.

Throughout these 9 years of time, I have made such great friendships with people whom supported Arsenal too. I remember two high school friends whom supported Arsenal as much as I did. Over here, the memory of the look on the faces of the two friends I watched football with in the house would always be in my top ten memories. It reminds us that we are not alone in what we believe in. When all else is lost, remember that there are people out there like you. Remember that there are people struggling with the same issues. Don’t mistake your misfortune or failures as yours truly and that no one else have the same or worse problems. That’s not pity. That’s ego. We need each other in this world. This is probably something that I have repeatedly mention in all of my posts but it’s true. We need each other.

I know that supporting Arsenal is something trivial to people but what I learned from it is something that we all need. When you support something long enough without any justifications and rewards, you start to lose hope and faith. Whether it’s God, studies, work, friendship, relationships, family and anything else, you learn to persevere. I revelled in Arsenal winning a trophy after 9 years. Someday, you will get there too.

“Never give up on a dream just because of the time it it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.”

 

 

 

I walked up to the counter and wrote my name down, ‘Peter’, tore off no.17 and went back to wait with my dad for a table. Somehow, it brought back memories of the first time I ever ate ramen. I was 18 and I remembered clearly who was there and what I ordered too. It was the Tokyo Ramen and I had the green rice tea to quench my thirst. You are probably wondering, “Why do you remember what you ate and what you ordered? That’s kind of wierd.” It was because it was one my first memories when I came to Sydney to study. I remembered going, What is this ramen thing people are talking about? What’s so special about it? I tasted it and since then, there was no turning back, it’s one of the many Japanese delicacies I now crave every once in a while. 

My name was called. Off I went to grab a seat and look at the menu. I wanted to order the Tokyo Ramen to remind me of the first time I had it but I decided to call another type instead. I did order the Green Rice Tea but somehow, I don’t think it ever tasted quite as good as the first time I drank it at that restaurant but it was good nevertheless. I looked around me and I saw the table I sat at with my sister the first time. I also saw the book store opposite me which I was so fascinated by back then. It was the same setting but time as always, moved forward. I’m surrounded by different people and sounds but the memory of that first time lingers on. 

I spend the entire past year worrying about this society that I am leading. Now that it’s almost over, I think back of the first time I stepped into the room and asked a simple question to the first person I saw, “Hi, my name is Augustine. What do you study?”. That was literally what I asked every single person I saw at the meet and greet with new and existing members. I had a dream back then too, a dream that my sister went through. A dream where I would find true friendship and be surrounded by love. My misconception was thinking the path we take will be exactly the same. The fundamental truth about the path that each person takes is that it is always different regardless of the final destination. We all like a neat and tidy path but in reality, every path is a concoction of mess.

Sometimes, people ask things like “Hey, what is the best way to ask a girl out?” or “Hey, how do I avoid any complications at all?”. There is no best way. There are, better ways, sure but there is no best way. As for the latter, you are never going to be able to avoid complications and mistakes no matter what you do. Have a listen to Human by Jon McLaughlin. There’s a verse that says, “After all we are only human, always fighting what we’re feeling, hurt instead of healing. After all we are only human, is there any other reason why we stay instead of leaving?”. I can guarantee you that the path ahead of you is going to be a dirty and messy one but you are going to have to stick it through. You are going to have to realize that you are just human and that this is part of life. Don’t mistake a neat and tidy path for being perfect. 

No path is ever truly straight but because of that we live in fear. We live with the fear that we are going to be not accepted or be lonely or being rejected. Chances are at some point in your life, you are going to feel some of those emotions or maybe even all of them but you are going to have to say, ‘I know I am going through this.’ but you also have to say, ‘Let’s not give up and how do we make a better situation out of this and possibly learn from it.’ You adapt. You persevere. That’s what you need to do. You need to know where you are at but at the same time, don’t lay stagnant. 

I always have dreams of a perfect plan and where things will run absolutely smoothly. I don’t think it ever turn out the way it seems. There’s always something that somehow pops up and changes your direction. (Up till now, Arsenal (it’s a football/soccer club) still hasn’t won a trophy for 9 years.) So much for a perfect plan. When that happens, it’s always good to think back of why you started what you are doing in the first place. Thinking back of when I first started,  I asked people, “What are you studying? because I wanted to know people but most importantly, that question could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship. It brings me back to today, how far I have come and how many friendships have persevere because of that question alone. It brings a smile to my face. 

I may not be able to replicate the exact time and setting where I had my first ramen but I do remember clearly the first time I had it. I was such a happy kid and enjoyed every single bite of it. I still enjoyed it a lot, don’t get me wrong. If you need a ramen buddy, just call me. I will be there. That first time also reminded me that I should be open to new possibilities and places, that every day is a new day. It may always seem a bit fearful and scary at first but most often, there’s no harm trying something new. Don’ be fixated on creating the exact same experience and path each time a similar situation appears but rather think back of the lingering memory, carry it with you and let that memory of yours create new experiences and help you along your path regardless of what happens. 

You’ll be alright. 

 

 

Some of you may recognized this as the title to Tyler Ward’s album which is not really the point of this post. I just thought hey, the title fits what happened to my day today or more of what happened to people around me today. It couldn’t have been more contrasting in terms of events.

Hello.

Hello to a world of opportunities. Hello to the brave big world there is today. Hello to fears. Hello to insecurities. A really good friend of mine graduated today and this was his second degree. He graduated with a Masters in Counselling. I didn’t know if I was going to make it in time to his graduation ceremony as I had a test before that and so I told him I might not be able to come. Being the usual kind self, he said “don’t worry about it, you have done more than enough for me.” I was going to write a card to him to make up for not coming. The card never materialised cause well, I went. I guess what I’m about to write echoes what I would have written. Graduation ceremonies are one of the most pivotal moments in your life. It is here you start leaving the comfort zone of your training ground. It is here you start to realize what a harsh world reality is. It is never what you prepared for in universities. It is never what you anticipated. There are just too many variables to know what to expect. it is here you decide what kind of man you want to be. It is also here you are going to impart your knowledge on the world. Going to university is so much more than receiving a degree. We are always constantly learning and it wouldn’t stop for the world and it wouldn’t stop after university finishes. You sharpen your minds yes. Your sharpen your cognitive skills yes. But you also learn, hopefully how to be a better person through your failings, sufferings and happiness. Even at the stage of tertiary education, you don’t realize it but you are already contributing to the society. It’s just a different audience after graduating. Graduating is about realizing the journey is not over, it’s only the start of something new. Hello world. Hello to hope.

Love

It’s Life Week in my university this week. So I was out helping promoting awareness of poverty and the situation it really is in the world and the local areas. At this area called Woolloomooloo, you always see homeless people on the streets and just how scary it is for them. One of the things I did when I came to Sydney was to take a homeless walk. It is then I realized how awful their situation is. Every morning, they have to fold their broken mattresses and pack up immediately because the police and council will chase them away. They can’t even afford to have a temporary home. So in the efforts of promoting world poverty, we came up with this thing called the poverty challenge where you go a whole day just eating one bowl of rice. Honestly, that’s more than a lot of people eat on a regular basis. So, here was I talking to random people and friends regarding the situation, this guy asked my friend, “Wait, is it brown or white rice?” while completely missing the point of the poverty challenge. You can’t like choose what kind of food you want in a poverty challenge like “Hey mate, can I like you know have salt and soya sauce with the rice?”. That being said, most people slowed down on their fast paced life to listen about poverty and you get that sense of love from them. The same kind a poor child shows when he smiles with the simplest things in life, contended with every single bit of blessing he has. Don’t forget how fortunate you are. It is not that God doesn’t love these poor souls but rather they are the ones that are teaching us. There is more for us to learn from a homeless man than he from us. Love does not stem from materialistic needs but rather it stems from trying to give others the best you can even though at times it may feel as though if you have nothing. If you have heart and soul, you will go far in life.

Heartbreak

A friend of mine went through a heartbreak today. And it was sad and terrible. I can only empathize while trying to grasp the situation. I been through my fair share of heartbreaks but never like this I guess. Most of us have been through emotional sadness but we all deal with it differently as we all have different backgrounds and influences while growing up. At the end of it, we can only do what we can to help others. We lend a listening ear and advice that is needed at the time. When a relationship between a guy and girl fails to materialize, we grief. Why do we grief? We do because there is so much potential to be tapped and the worst part of it all is you don’t get the happy ending you deserve. People get mad when novels and movies don’t have the happy ending they want. Strikes and protests will be held over it. That’s how desperately we want one. What really is a happy ending? It is not about sailing off into sunsets and growing old together under the moon. At least, that’s my point of view. Happiness is not about the length of time spent with that person but rather about making the most of the time you had with that person to begin with. What’s the point of a relationship if you didn’t appreciate the time you had with the person? If you keep regretting over your past mistakes and contemplate on the what ifs, you will fail to see the beauty of it all. I would like to think the other person didn’t want to hurt you to begin with but after all, we are only human. We mess up and we screw up and that’s going to happen like a vicious cycle. Don’t forget what happened so that it can remind you of the future but also forgive and learn to let go if you love yourself. Don’t fuel yourself with so much hate. It’s much easier to live life forgiving others and than not. Take your time. Grief. And when you’re ready, let go. The healing can only then begin. 

This is probably the longest I have written but I hope I made sense. I like you am also learning. Love while you can and don’t forget you are not alone as you think you are. As the Switchfoot song goes, I dare you to move. 

Ah, I was supposed to study today after classes but I decided to play football manager instead in the library. As usual, I put on music while doing anything really. I needed to listen to some new songs and decided to play the Spotify radio. There were some really good ones but one that stood out was Kiss the Rain by Yiruma. It’s an instrumental piece that is melancholic and beautiful while capable of making me reflect on my life. 

I guess after so many weeks of just pure work, study, work, study, events, I needed this. I needed to recollect myself. It’s been three years since I came to Sydney and study. I don’t now if I have grown much since the little kid that graduated from high school. Maybe I did. Maybe I haven’t. Many heartbreaks and lessons have been learned while I’m on this journey to discovering what kind of man I want to be. The mind immediately goes towards romance when we hear heartbreak but I think that’s a only small part of our lives. Our hearts does what it wants to and yearns for a relationship but I think most of them are misinterpreted signals. I have learned that there is so much more to us than just trying to find someone to be with. 

We sometimes think the world of our loved ones and feel that it’s just two of you against the rest of the world. We often forget that we are surrounded by people and the beautiful creations of God everywhere but we find ourselves alone at times. We are so much more than ourselves as we are connected to this amazing web of people and able to talk and stay alive through these relationships. We are given this amazing gift to help one another and give each other hope. I find that absolutely beautiful. We can’t make it through challenges by ourselves. Don’t let ego and pride take the better of you. Be humble and let those relationships in.

I am thankful for all the amazing people I have in my lives. Since young, I am constantly surprised and encouraged by the humanity people all around me have shown towards me and others. Regardless of which country I’m in, if you take time to notice around you, there’s always a person smiling or offering to help someone. These people, my family and my friends represent the variety of colours in my life. They are the reason why I’m happy and content in the midst of sadness and troubled times. We all have scars and wounds but look forward to the next day. You can never forget your past but don’t live in it. Every day is a new day. Don’t throw away that gift. Live in the present and be surrounded by the different colours. Let them in.

If you are feeling sad, chin up. Smile. The rain will pass. The droplets upon your face are only temporary. I know it sounds really optimistic but I guess that’s just me. I know I want to live my life with hope rather than going about everyday with a tinge of sadness. It’s easier? No? 

 

 

I just finished watching season one of Arrow, the more recent TV series that is now airing on the CW network. It’s definitely one of the best TV series I have watched. Amazing. 

Let it be put on record that this post is really not helpful to people that are up to date with their tv dramas but for those that have not watched or heard a single word about Arrow, this is music to your ears. I highly recommend it. My friend likes it so much that he places Arrow in his top 3 alongside Breaking Bad as his no. 1. Arrow is probably not in my top 3 but it would probably make the top 5.

What is Arrow about you say? It’s about a man named Oliver Queen (played by Steven Amell) who got stranded on an island for five years after being shipwrecked. Eventually, he makes his way back home to Starling City with only one goal in his mind. He is hell bent on saving his city following his father’s wishes and atone for his sins. Borrowing a quote from the show, “to do this, I must become someone else, I must become something else”. He becomes Arrow.

As the title suggests, Oliver Queen is a vigilante that shoots well, arrows. It’s a famous character from the D.C. universe that has now made it to TV. When I was watching this, I asked why do they not create a batman TV series instead. I later then realised that some things are meant for TV and some things are meant for the big screen. The character, Green Arrow is ripe and perfect for TV. The casting, flashbacks, story arcs, plot, score, character development, pacing and conflict is close to perfect for TV. The only thing that is lacking is probably humour. For such a dark series that delves into social justice and emotional trauma, I guess humour doesn’t really fit into it. 

At the end of the day, what you get from Arrow is action and fun while you fall in love with all the characters. It’s definitely a much more matured series than a lot of TV series out there. It knows the direction it is taking and every scene has a purpose. If you enjoy watching superheroes and like the Christopher Nolan batman trilogy, this is definitely worth watching for you. Good stuff.