I pondered if I should write this from a perspective of an object, you know like how we used to do it at school. You know the ones where we go, “Hi, I am a pen. My name is Pilot. I come from a long line of Japanese Kamikaze ink warriors. I have always wanted to fly a plane but apparently people didn’t trust a pen flying an aircraft. Weird humans.” And by the way, now that I think about it, how macabre were those assignments for an 8-year old. We needed to write an autobiography of an object, contemplate its existential crisis and write about the impending death of the object – all from the perspective of the object! I think I rather not do that.

So where do I start? I guess it all began 8 years ago, when I needed a new laptop. I still remembered I had a goal to learn more about PCs then (about RAM, SSD, HDD, CPU, GPU, etc…). I basically wanted to study how a computer comes together. I think. I had so many consultation sessions with my friend about this. And I did a ton of research before buying my laptop. I went to a few shops to check things out. I struggled with requirements versus aesthetic versus functionality versus price. Eventually, I settled down. Eventually, I got it from an Acer shop in Mid Valley, KL.

It felt really good because I think I have not done so much research and study before buying something. It had a touch screen which was quite a novelty for a laptop at that time. It looked nice. It was light. It pretty much fit everything I wanted – an ideal companion to the university lab computers.

It was on this laptop that I wrote my best stuff on the blog, or started writing my best stuff rather. It carried me through the toughest periods of my uni life – through the final year project, the thesis chaos and everything in between. All the agenda and minutes in my CASS committee years were typed on this laptop of mine.

As I expected at the point of purchase, I wasn’t going to use it much after uni. The laptops at work and my phone were always going to supersede my personal laptop. There wasn’t really a need to do much on it. Every now again, I will say hi, you know, to print some flight tickets, do my taxes, write on my blog and do some presentations for the church youth group.

Then, of course the pandemic hit last year. And suddenly, it got a new lease of life. It was doing so many more Zoom sessions. I used it to livestream mass at church too. I could feel it slowing down but I didn’t mind it. It did what it needed to do. Then of course, another lockdown happened this year in Sydney and it went through even more Zooms and livestreams.

One day, I wanted to open my laptop to prepare some slides but it wouldn’t start. So, I took out all the screws, battery and press the power button for 30 seconds to ‘discharge’ it. Don’t ask me why it works. I just know it does. And it did! So thankfully, that solved it and I was able to use it again for the penultimate livestream of the mass before lockdown was lifted.

I thought my old pal and I still had the best years ahead of us.

But alas it wasn’t meant to be. For the very last livestream of the mass before congregations were allowed back into church, my laptop died. I did the 30 second CPR thing multiple times to no avail. It was gone. As Thanos said after crushing Loki, “no resurrections this time” (not sure if it’s the best metaphor because Loki did somewhat resurrect through a whole time variant thing but that’s a story for another time).

I was very frustrated by the whole situation because I had a savings goal that I wanted to meet every month. And I never accounted for a laptop breaking down. Even if it doesn’t set me back by a lot, it’s still money. I was frustrated that I wasn’t in control of the situation. I couldn’t just muscle my way out of this and just keep defibrillate the circumstances to get better. I guess this is why people get insurance or have another rainy day fund.

Life is crazy and it’s wild. Just when you think something will happen as per the script you set, there’s always going to be something or someone that comes in and turns the script upside down. I think everyone in New South Wales is somewhat experiencing this at the moment.

As upset as I was in losing my ‘old pal’, my fiancée put things in perspective and told me that I had the old laptop for 8 years now. And that it has served me well. Things don’t last forever. Some goodbyes come sooner than expected. Some goodbyes come later. For my old pal, I think it came just about time. And for that, I am grateful.

On that note, I know it feels a bit random to write about my laptop but I thought maybe I squeeze in one post for the year after not writing in forever. I had this in the backlog for a while now so thought I dust it and have a little something for people (if you all are still reading this). I hope the year has been good for you despite everything that is still happening. Even if the year as a whole may seem bad, find the moments that made you content. And if nothing else, at least we have those. And maybe, it wasn’t that bad after all.

As for my old pal, thank you for the past 8 years of accompaniment. Thank you for holding on through the times I needed you the most. Take care.