I was sitting in the car with my father yesterday and had no idea of where the place we are going to was located at, when suddenly a question came into my head. I asked him, ‘Ten years ago, did you all use actual maps? Otherwise, how did you all know where to go?’

Sometimes, I think we take for granted how amazing technology is. We literally have the whole map in the palm of our hands, with satellites pinpointing exactly where we are located and showing us what we are surrounded by. Aided by community feedback and reviews, we also have information regarding road accidents, speed cameras and faster routes. If we want to go to somewhere, all we have to do is key in the place and Google Maps will give you multiple options, whether it’s the quickest way; pubic transport options; transit options; and pricing information for Uber.

It is that easy.

This is what people normally do now. Planning the trip or as I see it, knowing ahead of time.

The integration of smartphones and applications into our lives has seen us doing this on so many levels reading reviews upon reviews for things such as food, computer electronics, books, tourist locations. In my trip to Hong Kong recently, I found myself doing exactly that. Prior to the trip, I downloaded the Mass Transit Railway (MTR) app and the Hong Kong Tourist app. I was looking up Open Rice (which is like Zomato except that it’s for Hong Kong people and it’s on steroids) for places to eat.

If you wish, you can already lay out the whole itinerary even before the trip happens.

My dad answered me, ‘I just asked around. I asked people for general directions on how to go and I just try and make my way there.’

I responded, ‘Oh right, did you have a map in your glove compartment?’

He paused and replied, ‘Yes? Not sure actually. I don’t think I actually used much maps back then.’

I wasn’t surprised because I didn’t remember him actually taking a map out to go to places. He somehow knew how to get there.

In today’s day and age, ‘somehow’ doesn’t quite cut it. We want to know the ‘how’, ‘what’, ‘when’ and ‘where’. Moreover, we want to know it now. We yearn for certainty.

After all, who likes feeling helpless? Also, why waste time? If we are spending time and money at a place, we want to make sure it’s a really good experience, if not the best.

A day before the Hong Kong trip, I was stressing out because there were so many worries on my mind. What places were good to go to? What food is worth eating? What are the transportation options? What should I look out for? It was my first time exploring another country without someone else planning it for me. Whatever that my girlfriend and I planned, that was it. We were accountable and responsible for our plans. At the same time, I wanted the trip to be great for my girlfriend because it was her first time visiting Hong Kong.

The question in my mind really was, ‘How do I plan the perfect trip?’

Chatting with my manager briefly at work, he said, ‘Don’t worry about it too much. And don’t plan too much. You won’t really enjoy yourself if you do. I’m sure your girlfriend loves you for who you are and not how good of a tour guide you are.’

Realising the wisdom of his words, I let go.

What was the point in over-worrying? What was the point in planning our holiday to the exact tee? What was the point in being over dependent on the reviews of others?

The culture is such that we need to get the best experience possible. The places need to have 4 stars and above. That reviews have to be excellent. Every time you search for something and food in particular, there’s always a ‘best’ list or ‘top ten’ list that we hold closely to our chest.

I hope I’m not coming across as being cynical about reviews, tips and guides because they are great. I used them too and more often than not, the suggestions are great and helpful but I also think we have established a great reliance on them, a situation whereby that reviewer’s favourite place is now my favourite place. That blogger’s favourite restaurant is also now my favourite restaurant.

Before we even go into a restaurant, we already have a list in mind of what we want to order. Actually, scratch that. We already have a picture in mind of what we are going to order. Our meals and experiences, almost dictated by those that have come before us, but really if you are doing that, you will probably end up being very disappointed because what makes one’s experiences unique is the you are doing it and exploring it for the first time. Together with your loved ones, you make the choices.

Following others before us almost takes away the uniqueness of our experiences and strips away that sense of adventure. That feeling of wanting something to be good. That feeling of stepping into the unknown. That feeling of a pleasant surprise.

Of course, you will always have moments of disappointments, which is the whole point of reviews and guides to begin with. To avoid situations like that but that is just life. What makes life exciting is that it’s not always a hit. Sometimes, our compass breaks. Sometimes, our true north fades but it’s okay.

You learn. You experienced. You grow.

After the Hong Kong trip, I told my girlfriend that I should have looked up how to beat the queue at all these tourist places so that we don’t have to wait so long. She said, ‘It’s okay. We don’t have to. Holidays are like that.’

Guides, reviews and advices can only take us that far. At the end of the day, we just have to use our knowledge, trust our instincts, have a little faith and go.

We can’t always live our life by the book. Or by other people’s books for that matter. Be the best ‘you’.

I remembered following up with my dad, ‘Have you ever got lost in trying to get around without the map and the GPS?’

He said, ‘Of course. Sometimes, I have to turn round and round to try and get to the place.’

‘Did you get to the place in the end?’

‘Yeah, I did.’