How did we end up living like this? Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we do this to our children? When did we forget that we are human beings, not human doings?

Whatever happened to a world in which kids get muddy, get dirty, get messy, and heavens, get bored? Do we have to love our children so much that we overschedule them, making them stressed and busy — just like us?

What happened to a world in which we can sit with the people we love so much and have slow conversations about the state of our heart and soul, conversations that slowly unfold, conversations with pregnant pauses and silences that we are in no rush to fill?

How did we create a world in which we have more and more and more to do with less time for leisure, less time for reflection, less time for community, less time to just… be?

Omid Safi

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As I sat on the bus today, I took out my phone and started texting people “Happy Easter!” only to stopped myself as I realised where I was. The bus was going through the Anzac Bridge (named in memory of the soldiers of the Australian and New Zealand Army Corps who fought in World War I) and on each side, I could see the beautiful waters and the bright skies above it.

For 30 seconds as the bus passed through the bridge, I put my phone back in the pocket, paused and looked up. I sat there, remembering the beauty and memories I was surrounded by.

A few years ago, I shared an article by Omad Safi with you, titled The Disease of Being Busy. Till today, I don’t think I ever quite express how grateful I was to my friend for sharing the article with me at a time I needed it most. It was the year when I was doing my thesis and project design simultaneously, when I had no time at all for anyone and when I was struggling so hard to just, survive. Life was so busy that I even missed out on a good friend’s 21st birthday.

I remembered when a friend asked me if I was coming to a community football tournament. I said “Yes, I’m coming” to which people responded with amazement. One was so shocked by my decision to show up that she said, “Pigs are going to fly tomorrow.” That was how far removed I was from all my friends that I didn’t have time for anything or anyone.

A lot has changed since then. I finished my thesis and graduated. Life took on its course and I even managed to find a job in the aviation industry, which is both surprising and a blessing. It’s been a year and a half now since I started working full-time and I have to say, it feels good to be earning money which means I can buy more Uniqlo clothes I can start doing investments and build that financially sound future for my family and I. To be honest, that’s not the main source of joy from work.

I think you all have noticed I don’t write much about work. That’s because as a working professional, I feel I shouldn’t. However, I am able to write about the experiences of being a working adult. When I first started working, I was so enthusiastic and I asked a thousand questions to the annoyance of my colleagues probably. I would stay late because I have those Asian genes and I feel responsible for my work. One of my colleagues misinterpreted this and thought I was trying to ‘show’ that I was hardworking and that I want to present myself as a keen budding young engineer.

I told him this, “We all have our dream jobs, of places you want to go and things you want to do. It doesn’t matter what they are. When you have a job, you have a job. You do it well and you pour everything you are into it. We are made to love. How then do I love when I’m at work all day? I love by putting the most effort I can possibly give and try the best I can. Every document and every line I type is something I want to be formed a result of my love. If that also means staying back after normal working hours, then so be it.”

Of course, as with anything, the young initial enthusiasm dies down after a while and I found it harder to keep up the initial capacity to want to love through my work. I find myself becoming tired.

Some days, you have hard clients to deal with. Some days, you have your own shortcomings and mistakes to deal with and overcome. Some days, there’s miscommunication between colleagues. All part of the process and learning curve but all adding to the business of the working life. Before you realise it, having 20 emails to respond to every morning seems normal and having to talk to clients at dawn is okay.

We get so wrapped up in our work that we forget the real reason why we love this job, why we got into the chosen industry or what motivated us to do this in the first place. For some of us, we find ourselves slowly destroyed as we get so consumed by the politics and wanting to be the top at all costs. Sometimes, at the cost of friendship. Sometimes, even at the cost of our loved ones.

Some days, I find myself forgetting the very lesson I learned all those years ago. No matter how busy you become, always remember to pause and breathe. Remember to look up. Remember everything good.

I remembered one time when I was working really late during the period leading up to Christmas. I was really busy that I couldn’t make it the usual Gospel meditation/sharing sessions I usually go to on Wednesdays. My brain wasn’t quite functioning anymore so I packed my laptop and took it home instead. I decided to have some rest first before resuming later.

I took the usual train to my home. After contemplating about it, I changed my mind. I skipped the train station at my home and went to Central instead. I managed to make my way to the church anyway even though I was 2 hours late. I didn’t really manage to catch much of the sharing but I did however manage to catch my girlfriend. At most, maybe I could only see her for 5 minutes because I needed to go soon after. It didn’t matter that it was only for 5 minutes. Seeing her meant the world to me.

That was one of the days I remembered to look up.

As a friend once told me, work is work. It’s always going to be hard and there will be periods where it’s mundane and challenging. That’s reality. You can be a rockstar and play at Wembley stadiums but you will also have periods where you will have writing blocks and can’t even play a simple chord properly.

No matter how hard it is and regardless of whether or not it’s your dream job, you try your hardest and you try your best because you are so fortunate to be working in the first place. There are plenty of people out there who would swap places with you in a heartbeat. Yes, conditions may not be ideal but hang in there. Be patient. Continue working hard towards your dreams and goals but don’t forget today too. Don’t forget to love through your work.

When it gets tough and when you find yourself unable to continue, just pause and just be. Close your eyes and remember everything good. Then, you will find meaning in your work again.

As my favourite Youtuber, Ming Han once asked,

“Do we leave enough space in our work to be human?

For ourselves.

For the people we meet.”

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One, remember to look up at the stars and not down at your feet. Two, never give up work. Work gives you meaning and purpose and life is empty without it. Three, if you are lucky enough to find love, remember it is there and don’t throw it away.

Stephen Hawking