​There is a season for everything, a time for every occupation under heaven.

Such is the opening line to the chapter of Ecclesiastes in the Bible.

Pause. Breathe.

Read the line again.

There is a season for everything.

It is impossible to grasp the whole meaning of that for it is in time that your past is kept. It is in the future that your hopes are fulfilled. It is in the present that you are living. It is in time that you are acting. It is in time that you are searching. It is in time that you are being. It is through your time intersecting with other peoples’ times that you are hurt and hurting. However, it is also through this that you are loved and loving.

When someone experiences a setback to life, the advice that one often gives is, “Don’t worry, with time, you will get better.” Due to the frequency of that advice given out, it has now become a cliche and one that wears people out. Here’s the thing about this cliche. It is still true. Repeated sayings does not diminish the profundity of that statement and one just needs to remember how important it is to let things take its place.

I’ve written a lot of my own experiences since the inception of this blog. It’s almost as if I’ve taken snapshots of my life and placed them on a timeline for you to see. Some of you may feel like you know me, because you’ve read what I’ve written. Some of you may feel otherwise.

The thing is if you do think you know me, I don’t find that offensive at all. I try to be as honest as possible in my words and I hope my words actually represent who I am and where I am at in reality.

In most days, I often write about my struggles in life and how circumstances and time led me to that situation. Some struggles are still ongoing. Some, not so much anymore. Overtime, I’ve realised something.

Those moments were exactly where I needed to be. If they didn’t exist, I wouldn’t have come to experience all these memories and lessons that I encounter.

St. Augustine says, “so it is with our speaking as it proceeds by audible signs, it will not be a whole utterance unless one word dies away after making its syllables heard, and gives place to another.”

What he means is that our life is a symphony. We will never be able to grasp the entire meaning until the end of time. Each second that passes leads to another second, but each second is also a place in itself. I guess what I’m trying to say is in the business of our lives, we search, we fall, we cry and we laugh. In the midst of all that, remember that we are human beings first and foremost.

When we constantly try to look towards the future as our the ultimate solution to our problems, we live in a temporary state and always think tomorrow will be better and today is just a means to get there. Then, you are never truly living for you were never truly present to begin with.

Every time you meet someone, every time you you have a conversation, every time you breathe, nothing will ever replicate that exact moment and its circumstances. Each moment is unique. Each second is, once in a lifetime.

St. Augustine also said, “you would long for whatever exists only in the present to pass away, so that you might find greater joy in the totality.” I don’t think he’s saying that the present is obsolete but rather just exactly how important it is to take things in its context. The things that happen to you today will always, in most cases, make better sense in the time to come.

Just realise that today will always lend greater relevance and significance to tomorrow. Whatever it is, in the current bar you are composing, try your best and be all there. Even when your best is not enough and all else doesn’t make sense, stay with it and peservere. After all, a symphony is best when it’s played from beginning till end. 
 

“So, what are you doing now?”

“Ah, I have been working with the Catholic Chaplaincy at university.”

“I see, are you looking for a full time job?”

“Yes, yes I am. I am keeping an eye out for things. I guess I’m slowly learning to embrace my future and not rush into it.”

“Yeah man. Doing work for religious groups is great, but you don’t want to end up doing that all the way. Working with religious groups , that sort of work is more suited to the end of one’s working life man.”

“Hahaha.”

“Like being a church custodian or something.”

* * *

For almost my entire life, I’ve been a student of primary, secondary and tertiary education. There was never any break in between because there wasn’t an opportunity to do so and certainly, my parents would never agree to such a thing. The idea of pausing is irrelevant as we are always moving, acting, fretting and searching. The problem with that is that we are never just being.

By fate or by provision, however you want to call it, this year, I had that opportunity. After completing my degree, the question was what now?. I took a break of two weeks and during then, I went to see some of my friends at my alma mater and visited the Catholic chaplaincy. One of those days, I had a very early dinner with the priest there and in the most casual of conversations, I mentioned that I had some time now and that maybe I can help out at the chaplaincy. The very next day, I was told that they were keen on hiring me.

As I was in Australia on a tourist visa, I told them I would volunteer until my working visa came through. I volunteered for the first few months and then I became a part-time staff after. The work that I did varied from time to time. Sometimes, I would set up BBQs or make ice blended drinks to give out to people. Some days, I designed prayer cards and posters. At other times, it was just me talking to students. Having been a student myself, I know what the struggles are and I used that experience to help me along the way.

Can you imagine? I designed flyers and posters to promote events. This is completely on the opposite spectrum of what I studied which was aerospace engineering. I’ve never studied design or did a BBQ in my life but I done all of it in one go. It’s beautifully amazing where life takes you to when you allow it to happen. So during this time, I was of the impression that the chaplaincy did good work in bringing others to their faith.

Upon time, I grew into my role and got better at my job. Something felt missing. What’s the purpose all this? Do students even respond to us?

It wasn’t until a few weeks ago that this postgraduate student came up to me and asked what does works of mercy mean. I started explaining to her and as we converse, she begin to delve into her worries about her studies and research. At the end of it, she said something really striking,

“If I have any troubles or need someone to talk to, can I just come here and talk to you or father?”

I replied, “Definitely, that’s what we’re here for,”

That’s when I realise the work the Chaplaincy have been doing is great work. It didn’t come down to how many posters we design. Neither did it come down to how many BBQs we organised. It came down to being the steadfast presence of the Catholic faith in the secular world. It came down to just being there.

I remember a friend telling me when I was doubting myself in this line of work, “That’s true. You talk to so many people and they don’t respond at times. It’s always the little things that makes a difference though. Maybe it’s you saying hi. Maybe it’s you asking them how they’re doing. Maybe it’s you offering them a drink. It’s amazing what people are thirsty for.”

You know, I’ve had multiple drafts of this post. I’ve always wanted to write about my experiences at the chaplaincy but in my mind, there was always this thought, ‘Who would want to read about this?’ It’s nothing special or neither is it emotionally powerful. Then, I remembered that it is to me.

Having now found a full time job and the fact that I have left the chaplaincy, I’m in a better position to write about the totality of this experience. I don’t regret ever taking up the part-time job. I know I have some friends who tell me that the chaplaincy job is not something you do for life. I have some friends who tell me that as long as I am happy, that’s all that matters.

The truth is the chaplaincy job, the caring for people aspect, the talking to people, the little things you do for people, that should be our lives and not just a job. It’s not only towards the end of one’s working life that one does these things. We are all called to be church custodians.

When I wrote my goodbye letters to my bosses at the Chaplaincy, my eyes welled up because I remembered what it was like to be a student. It was stressful and hectic. Some days were overwhelming and others were insane. Over the years especially in my last year, I started going to daily mass more often. When I have time, I will always drop by the office and I will see the people working there. There will be these great smiles on their faces and I would smile too. The staff, the priest and especially the mass was my oasis. It was my oasis of joy. I can’t believe that I could be part of that experience to others as well.

One day, I hope I will return to this post. Maybe in 10 years. Maybe in 15 years. I hope to recall this experience of mine and wherever I am at in my life then, I pray I am still in love with the Church. If I am not, I hope this post serves as a reminder to never lose faith in the things that are good and to fight for it for the rest of our lives.