It was 11:00 am and I sat on my couch, wondering what I should do. My parents were still asleep. I didn’t have work today. So, I decided to go this little infamous bakery called Bourke Street Bakery, which was located 10 minutes from my house.

I arrived at the store and I wasn’t actually sure what to order. I can tell you they have this thing called Bread. It is a bakery after all. After thinking for a bit, I decided to order a beef pie and coffee. I sat down and guess what was in front of me. It was a newspaper! Mind you, it wasn’t like a ‘tablet’ newspaper but an actual ‘newspaper’ newspaper if I could even use ‘newspaper’ as an adjective. So, here am I with a beef pie, a cup of coffee and a newspaper. The only thing missing from the picture is me having a Sherlock Holmes hat and a twirly moustahce.

I don’t actually feel old but this little bakery place had this 1960s vibe about it and its common colour scheme is dark brown. It’s actually been a long time since I held a physical newspaper in my hand, let alone read it. When I was younger, I used to only read three things. One was the sports (football) section, no surprise there. Another was the entertainment (it was about celebrities, I don’t know why I bothered reading about all the latest gossip, ew). Last but not the least, I read the comics section which was really the best bit out of the whole newspaper. Forget politics and current events guys, comics is where it’s really at.

Wind the clocks, the newspaper changed to a more fast paced, concise and ‘Flipboard’ format which means the content gets updated almost every other minute rather than the traditional format which gets a refresh daily. I wrote about appreciating the things of the old a while back but these new ways of reading news isn’t actually bad. The human experience is all about looking for new experiences. Basking in the glory of the old days will have you labelled as ‘old-fashioned’, ‘outdated’ and ‘trapped mentality’ because of the inability to usher in the current era.

Can I ask you this though, is what we do truly new?

The latest gaming craze (oh yes, I’m talking about it even though I hate it), the Pokemon Go is a perfect example of us adoring a new thing. Just look at the game! It has augmented reality, GPS detection features and all these other sweet features (by sweet, I mean feeding the Pokemons candy, I know, I’m hillarious). That was why it became popular, or so we thought. The augmented reality bit turned out to be quite a flash and bang gimmick. Soon, most people turned it off to conserve phone battery and concentrated on what the 20-year old original game was about, collecting all the Pokemon.

The latest Star Wars movie, ‘The Force Awakens’ became a pop culture phenomenon and citizens of the Resistance will tell you that it’s so much better than the prequels! No more Jar Jar Binks! No more overuse of flashy CGI! Finally, a sensible plot but wait, the Republic has something to say! It’s too much like the original move, ‘Star Wars: A New Hope’. As big a fan as I am of Star Wars, I can’t help but agree, yes there are lots of elements of ‘The Force Awakens’ borrowed from ‘A New Hope’ but people don’t care. It felt good to have the feeling of old Star Wars again.

Perhaps, you don’t know or really don’t care about Pokemon Go or Star Wars but think about it. Most things we do aren’t actually new but rather another form of escapism. The stories we love are most often a rehashed and repackaged story that is infused with a different perspective on telling it. The songs you hear (let’s not talk about the top 40 songs, yuck) are most often about love and sorrow with a different melody attached to it. The events that you see in the news: the wars, the social injustice, the polictical outrage, the corruption and the accidents, you can search the archives for a 1940s newspaper and I can assure you the same sentiment is there. The characters, tools and context may be different but there will be that sense of familiarity.

So, why the urge of the human race to search for new experiences when in essence, it all seems a bit familiar? I can tell you a little bit about how the brain works with secretion of neurotransmitters but really, we are all trying to get closer to the truth. That’s why we have different perspectives and melodies of telling our life experiences because with every passing second, they uncover a different facet of what we are seeking for; happiness. As Aristotle puts it, “Happiness is the meaning of and purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence.”

In the search for the truth and perhaps happiness, we are often tempted to do away with the old, ignore history and focus on the current tidings. Funnily enough, when we are stuck or in need of a different outlook on life, we go back to where we come from or what we are good at.

We go back to our roots because that’s where our memory is the strongest. The archives of news and billions of data is nothing in comparison to your memory because each and every single one of those memories is in relation to you. It’s where life’s  greatest lessons are stored. Just because it feels archaic, it doesn’t mean it’s not good. On the contrary, when we remember our past and reflect on it, little by little, I believe that’s when we truly create new experiences.

New not because it’s different but because it came as a result of us learning what matters.

Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colours. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.

Terry Pratchett

 

 

 

 

“Augie, you must have been busy organising retreat and hence have no time to write in your blog,” a friend teases me. How long has it been since the last one? More than a month. Do I even blog anymore? I do, I do. Fret not people! The blog is here to stay.

Not many people read this site to be honest. That’s partially because of my lack of promotion and also my irregularity in writing. When there’s irregularity, then people do not have it as part of their routine. I’ll try to write one every week from today because writing has become my way of sharing my life but also allows other people to share in mine.

Where was I? Yes, the retreat. Every year, the society that I’m part of (Catholic Asian Students Society, CASS) has a retreat where we go to a place faraway from the city for 3 days, have reflections, enjoy the good company and be closer to God.

It was a Friday morning. I had stop start sleeping cycles throughout the night and woke up every 30 minutes or so. I was suppose to be an usher at the busstop and my job was to, well, usher students into the bus that was going to the retreat site in Stanwell Tops. As you all might know, ushers are meant to arrive early and when you’re the president of the society, you should be even earlier. So, the night before, I texted my friend, “Hey, let’s have breakfast at McDonalds at 7:00am and then go to the usher stop at 7:30am.” By the way, the bus was scheduled to leave at 8.

At 7:18am, I felt my phone buzzing. I answered the phone and I go, “Hello”. My friend said, “Bro, we still going to Maccas?” I looked around me and still in my pyjamas, I said, “Oh shit.”

First of all, that is very Malaysian of me to do so. Secondly, my phone alarm honestly didn’t ring! I tried to think why it didn’t when clearly, I set like 10 alarms to go off every 15 minutes. Then, I realised I didn’t switch them on.

So, anyway, off I huffed and puffed to the busstop. I thought I arrived at the stop but I didn’t see any of my friends there so I asked the dudes there, “Is this bus to Stanwell Tops?” The guy then replied, “No, this is to Canberra.” Canberra! That’s like 3 hours away from Sydney! What in the world of cows. Ok, wrong stop.

Long story short. I didn’t turn on my alarm. Woke up late. Almost went to Canberra. I did arrive at the right stop. Whew.

So, all of us got to the retreat site safe and sound. I have been attending this retreat for the past five years. Every year, I do look at it from an outsider’s perspective from time to time. It helps me to see everything that is going on. However, this year I had to because it’s the president’s job to see the bigger picture and overall outlook. Being in that role, it means my huffing and puffing wasn’t over and I had to organise everyone every few hours so that we remain on time.

Despite all the rushing, this retreat was different than the last one. I arrived at this one with a more relaxed state of mind. In spite of all the uncertainty in my future (as it is with anyone), I’ve learned to cope with stresses of life a lot better than before and instead, I go through an entire different set of emotions in this one. During the retreat, I was so close to fully breaking down because of the praise and worship sessions and adoration. I think it’s also because I know this will probably be my last retreat. For those that know me, my progress in university was moving in parallel with my progress in CASS. I think it’s normal for me to feel this deep sense of sadness.

With each passing hour, the rushing continued until Saturday evening and I could finally sit down quietly and have a chat with one of our spiritual directors/advisors. I said, “John, up till today, I’m still amazed how CASS started. It started from having no one at all to this society that has a branch at every major university in Sydney. From having no one. How did we get here?”

“Augie, look at this retreat that we organised. Look at how many people there are here. There are over 60 of us. Do you think they just appear out of nowhere? How did this come together? You and I didn’t do a lot. None of us did. We all just did our small bit and looked at what we have achieved.”

That deep sense of sadness now became a deep sense of gratitude and pride. I alongside everyone else put everything we have into organising this little retreat and it showed. We somehow managed to provide a platform to help people grow in their faith and discover themselves. Bit by bit, the blank page started having scribbles, ideas and sketches. Flip past a couple of pages, you have structure and paragraphs. A few more, you see pictures. Slowly without realising, you have a book.

The best things are often not loud, fast and noisy. They often happen quietly and slowly. Amazement doesn’t have to make you cry or blow your mind. Every little thing you do is amazing. The words you say can be profound. The actions you make can be impactful.

I’m so thankful for the blessings God has given me and the gifts he has nourished me with. I will always be grateful that I can be part of this experience.

As for myself, I have come a long way since the days of always huffing and puffing throughout everyday. I’m more assured of who I am. Although I haven’t quite discover my vocation yet and how to fill the next chapter of blank pages, I trust it will happen and that I’m in a good place.