It was a Thursday morning. As usual, I woke up late!  I ran to my friend’s graduation ceremony. Fortunately, I caught her in time and managed to grab a photo with her. Since I had plenty of time after, I went to this coffee shop called La Banette Pâtisserie and grab a mocha. Then, I walked to the bus stop which was 15 minutes away to head back to my alma mater as I had something to do.

There were two ways I could go to my university. One was to catch the 393 bus which would take 25 minutes. Another was just to catch the express bus which would take up only 12 minutes. The reason being that the 393 stopped at multiple stops along the way compared to the latter which was a direct journey. Holding my coffee cup, I thought I might just catch the relatively empty 393 and enjoy the quiet bus ride. So, I did exactly that.

5 minutes along the way, I saw not one but two express buses went past me in a flash. In that one moment, that scene perfectly encapsulated what I was going through.

Having actually done what I told myself to do from my last post, (I know, I can’t quite believe it myself), I find myself facing really tough questions as to where am I at in my life. I have a friend who has been working for 3 months now in a job she likes. I have another who recently secured one at a research facility. My other friends? They are on the verge of graduating. One even got engaged recently albeit he is much older than me and at a very different stage of his life.

Each time I talk to someone, the natural question would be, “Are you working yet?” or “Have you graduated yet?”. Thankfully, I have graduated. Yes, yes I have. I am now a bachelor degree holder and no, no I have not started working yet. It’s partially because of my visa circumstances but also partially because I just needed time. In a nutshell, I can’t really do anything about it. I told my friend that everyone else seems to be ahead of me and that it gets to me sometimes. He said this, “Well, it’s not about ahead or behind. It’s about your own part of it all.”

First of all, what the hell does that even mean? Not helping! Second of all, I realized I give out these semi vague advice all the time, so much so that my friend calls it Chonguisms. Somehow, I managed to understand what he said.

I feel we live in a society where progress follows a set pattern and a productive life can only be dictated by a certain number of boxes. Progress meaning primary school, high school, university, working and then possibly marriage. This idea or time frame of figuring out what to do with your life  simply does not exist because it is such a competitive environment. What is that phrase? You snooze, you lose. Ugly statement but it’s true. For some, financial difficulties dictate our life and it is imperative that we work hard towards supporting ourselves and our families.

Somehow, I have this little window whereby I can actually reflect on the past five years and what I have done. Having done all of that, it’s time to lay the foundation again for my life ahead. I am able to do some readings and work on my music. It’s really because of my sister I have this window and it’s one I very much appreciate. In the meantime, I have been volunteering at the Catholic Chaplaincy at my university and that has been an eye opening and humbling experience. I won’t go into much detail about that because that deserves an entire post itself.

Truthfully, I still feel I am behind sometimes but that’s because I know I like engineering and that I didn’t just obtain my degree for the fun of it but rather to help achieve societal progress. One day, I will do just that.

Sitting in my bus, it was nice. It wasn’t packed with students. It allowed to me have some quiet time while I sip my coffee. To paraphrase a favorite author of mine, Mitch Albom and modifying it slightly, it’s not to make your life faster but to make the world slower. My misconception in my thinking was that my life was static but I was always moving because 20 minutes later, my bus arrived at the destination.

I’m still figuring my own part of it all. One day, I will. As for now, I am fine where I am at. I just have to remember what was all of it for.