When I was eight years old, would you believe that I already had a whole cupboard full of toys? Yes, I had everything including bayblades, power rangers, McDonalds collectibles, Hotwheels and swords. You would think that I have enough to last for life but I wanted more. In one of those family outings at shopping malls, I walked past a cart selling those new power rangers and immediately expressed my desire for the red ranger. My dad said no and continued walking. As a kid, I already knew how the human world operates. I did the same thing as babies do but in a different language than crying. I sulked and tried to show as much dissatisfaction as I could. I pestered. I persuaded. In the end, I got what I wanted. I remembered it was my mum that managed to got my dad to buy it. I also remembered my dad being really mad.

That incident was etched into my memory forever and as I grew older, it bore greater significance although it certainly didn’t feel like it at the time. I soon understood why my dad got mad. It wasn’t the fact that I was being impractical or that the red power ranger does not serve me a purpose. It was rather I was immersed in the culture of materialism.

In an South East Asian culture that often weaves between the lines of materialism and desire, we often want the latest thing in the technological or fashion world because we think it’s ‘cool’. Some of us might proceed to show our friends and family what we have to create a sense of jealousy. That was why I wanted the ranger. That’s why some people line up for the latest products. Honestly ask yourself, are we ever truly satisfied?

When it comes down to spending, we tend to steer between two extremes. One end being that we should be entirely thrifty. If it is not food, water or shelter, there’s no reason to buy anything else. The other end being that we should spend as much as we can because what good is money if we keep it in a vault. Can we ever balance ourselves on this delicate tightrope? This is because essentially, these two extremes are a form of materialism. We are either clinging on to the idea of money or the idea of consumer products. Both resulting from an unhealthy obsession to give us a sense of false security and satisfaction.

Can we truly blame ourselves for having such a mindset? We are often tempted to judge people from afar and assume the worst when we should take a step back to understand the situation. Sometimes, consumerism may feel like the only way to increase one’s self-esteem, breathe escapism into a troubled world and create excitement for a mundane and dull life. The problem is we are never truly satisfied and it often feels like an act of pouring water into a sand pit.

Strangely and funnily enough, it’s not the everyday subjects that we buy that are worth the most to us. It’s the items that are a by product of our sweat and tears or a gift from someone dear. The best ones are usually the ones that reminds us of our past. These items don’t have a price tag any more and instead have now become mementoes. It’s a little piece of our lives that gives us a sense of nostalgia, romance and history.

Whether it’s buying for the sake of buying or keeping it as a memento, we can be guilty of always longing for something that is gone and in a constant search for security and comfort. Balancing on the tightrope is hard not because we are controlling what we are buying for ourselves but rather the only way to do so is in learning what is the true value of giving. It is through these acts of giving that creates lines of fondness between humans in society. Similarly, we should appreciate our mementoes but we should use those memories triggered from it to create better ones for people around us. If we are always reminiscing of the past, then are you living in the present?

Letting go of our desires is never an easy thing to do. Separating ourselves from the obsession of material objects is imperative to achieve a greater freedom of the human being. Every object you owned has a story to tell. More than often, they are stories that paints us a protagonist and asks the question, “Did this make me happy?”. Had we ever stopped to ponder the flip-side?

Balance is key and we should reflect on what we actually need in life. As today is the last day of the year, we often have resolutions concerning ourselves and we want to achieve all these personal goals. How about goals concerning others? Often, the greater satisfaction lies not in the benefits you can give to yourself but rather the good you can give to others. That’s how we can grow as human beings and become better people. By and by, hopefully, we realize that the objects we own can be tools to convey our emotions and love for others better.

That’s a better story. Is it not?

 

 

 

 

 

On 17th December 2015, the day of the geeks had arrived. The highly anticipated movie, Star Wars: The Force Awakens was now showing in cinemas. I actually watched it twice on the day of the premier. I went to the first screening with two good friends of mine and took some pictures with BB-8. At night, I third wheeled my sister and her husband to watch it again. Rest assured scruffy-looking Nerf Herders and Jedis alike, the movie didn’t disappoint at all! This is clearly proven when The Force Awakens has now amassed a staggering  amount of $517 million ticket sales in the span of 4 days!

It was a tremendous movie going experience especially because my friend was a crazy Star Wars fan as well. I don’t usually come out of the theatres with a smile. In this instance, I did especially the first time. I was thrown back into a world of adventure, heart and soul. Now, I understand better why everyone was crazy about Star Wars in 1977 when it first came out. For 2 hours, I didn’t feel I was in the cinema but part of the galaxy far far way. Certainly, people were sceptical before entering the cinema because the last three Star Wars movie (the prequels) were a massive disappointment in the eyes of critics and audiences alike. I think it is always a risk to enter the cinema. You can watch the trailers, read the books, look up the plot and catch up on reviews but you can never be certain that it is a great movie experience. In this instance, I went in with such great hope and blind belief. Fortunately, it paid off in the best way possible.

Two days before Star Wars, I was also fortunate to be part of another great movie experience with Wong Fu Productions. For those of you not familiar with their work, I suggest you check out Strangers Again, Somewhere Like This and Movie Cheater. See if you like them, they’re pretty cool. Wes and Phil from Wong Fu were here to screen their movie, titled Everything Before Us in the Wesley Conference Theatre. I went in a group of 14 people and got to meet the crew too. It was a sold out audience and 750 people were waiting in anticipation for the movie. A few friends of mine have watched it and told me it was alright. I don’t think I ever quite believed them cause I had a feeling this movie was going to be good.

Again, I wasn’t let down. I don’t think it was only because of the movie but also because of the audience I was with and certainly my two friends who were sitting next to me. They laughed at every cheesy moment and squealed when the hot cute guy appeared on screen. I laughed, I cried and most importantly I related to the story. Without giving away any spoilers, the movie is about how the Department of Emotional Integrity (DEI) affects the lives of two couples. The DEI gives you a score based on how well you conduct and commit yourself in a relationship. Similar to GPAs and WAMs, companies will now also look at your DEI score too to see if you are fit for the job. A score above 80 will pretty much guarantee you a successful path ahead.

With such a restrain on our lives, no one dares to take a risk in relationships for a fear that their dreams and hope for the future may be shattered. With all that has been happening to me over the past few weeks, I couldn’t have watch this movie at a better time. I like to think of myself as a romantic but that is certainly not true. A true romantic is spontaneous and acts out on instinct and emotion. I am incapable of that as I think too much about what the future will be had I taken these steps. The idea of losing your control over your life is scary and to change oneself because of another girl is even scarier. Now, I understand why some people between the age of 21-25 go through a dry spell because long gone are the days of boldness and exuberance and instead they are buried underneath the notion of career focused dreams and individual pace setting. We would like to think that we are not naive this way and that we are actually maturing because mind over heart is now the theme of our lives.

Naive, derived from the latin word Nativus means showing a lack of experience, wisdom or judgement. I think it’s naive of us to think we can actually halt the emotional needs of our heart and press the on switch once we have a crystal clear vision of what our lives will be like. Myself included.

People often ask me, “Augie, why don’t you have a girlfriend yet?” or they tell me things such as, “Do you know what you are looking for?” and “You have to take a leap of faith someday.” While all these questions give me food for thought, my greatest strength is me acting out of gut instinct. When I told my friend, “I don’t have a girlfriend yet because it doesn’t feel right.”. Puzzled and bewildered, he replied, “What do you mean by right? Does it have to feel right?” Yes, it has to be. I’ve always believed that.

Movies are not quite the same as relationships but there are parallels. In the age of statistics and data obsession culture, we will never know for sure what we are getting into. You can know the scripted plot and the theatre you are going into. From a bigger picture point of view, it’s not about the movie that you are watching, it’s about the person that you are going with. That completes the adventure of heart and soul. I know that one day I will find a girl that I will have hope and believe that she is the one. I will find someone that I will take the risk for.

My friend said this to me the other day, “That feeling of confidence and knowing she’s right will come from God! So you just stay close to Him and your life will take its course as it should be.”

Time will tell.