Sometimes I do wonder why there are four seasons. The summer, the autumn, the winter and the spring. It’s something beautifully created and yet tragic. Isn’t it? Even in countries on the Khatulistiwa line, where the weather is promoted to be sunny all year round is not true too, is it not? Days of sunlight and trees blossoming are often interrupted by storms and floods which we forget to account for most days. When years come and go, we all like to remember the “summer” and “spring” of those years but often not the “winter” and perhaps the “autumn” too.

The question is what really does each season mean for us?

Autumn is a good season to start as any. Hot off the heels of summer, suddenly, the weather isn’t quite as charming any more and yet not quite depressing too. Trees start shedding leaves and they start turning brown. Gone are the days of green and flowers. Gone are the days of just putting on a tank top and heading to the beach. Everything starts to feel, heavy again.

Eventually, the feelings of worrisome and stress is now eclipsed by the shadows of sadness and winter. Trees are now naked and clothed with nothing for they are left shivering in the cold. Being in an almost state of depression, the human race now needs to put on several more articles of clothing to warm them and to have some burning sensation to survive. The heaviness of shed leaves is now replaced with the burden of snow.

But wait! There is spring coming up? Is it possible there’s hope again? Is it possible to have flowers blossoming and trees are now magnificent again in its glorious image? The weather is getting warmer and snow is gone no more. The burden has now been slowly lifted off our shoulders. What is this sensation of ease that spring brings?

Oh, it gets better. Summer is here. The sun is high and lifted in the skies. The oceans, forests, deserts and beaches all bask in the glory of the sunlight. Gone are the days of darkness! Gone are the treacherous weather conditions! No more heavy clothings! No more gloves!We are free! We are free!

There’s that. There’s the four seasons from my perspective. Wouldn’t it be nice to just have summer alone all year round and perhaps a little spring? Why bother with the sadness and depressing state of the other two seasons? Whether you believe in God or the big bang, surely this is nature’s way of sending us a message?

In this blog post, my paragraphs are nicely separated and that each season has a paragraph to its own. In reality, the seasons are a little more, well, mixed, and sometimes not as clear cut. There might be storms during the summer. There might also be beach weather in the winter. Just like our emotions, they are never as clear cut as they appear to be.

For the past few weeks, it certainly felt like winter to me cause I have just been so tired and bogged down by several things. When I went out with friends, they were worried about me because apparently I wasn’t “talking” enough, (their way of saying I’m a chatterbox). I guess it’s true. I have been stressed by many things and refuse to acknowledge that indeed, I wasn’t okay.

Last Friday, I had this thing called retreat. Basically, it was a three days, two nights camp away from the city in this area called Katoomba, which was basically up in the mountains. My friends and I (about 50 of us) took the coach from the city to the destination but surprise surprise, it was snowing in Katoomba. Mind you, this is Sydney. It doesn’t just snow. There’s no snow in Sydney except in really extremely cold areas. Due to snow, the roads were all blocked and our bus or any bus for that matter couldn’t travel to the place. The thing we all dreaded popped into our heads; we might actually have to cancel this retreat and go back to our miserable lives in the city. Have I said, “Damn this snow!”? Oh, I haven’t. Damn this snow.

Suddenly, we all had an epiphany. The trains were running! Yes! The trains were running. They don’t use roads! So, 50 of us hopped onto the train into Katoomba and guess what, we had to now walk from Katoomba train station to the place we were staying at which felt like an hours walk. Wait sorry, it felt like forever. (It was an half an hour walk). So, here we are, carrying all our luggages, through the snow on the roads and hence, begin our epic Fellowship of the Retreat. Would you believe it that this was the first time I’m seeing snow? And it was beautiful. We threw snowballs at each other and walked together to the place. The road to the retreat centre, covered with snow coupled with the clear blue skies and sun was, indeed beautiful.

What felt like winter to me was now a treasured memory. Just as with most of us, we always only remember the springs and summers of our days but refuse to acknowledge the autumn and winters simply because it’s painful. Some of us are more comfortable just being stuck in the depressing snow because it is easier to be stationary than to keep moving. Some of us can’t wait to get out of there because it is easier to run away from things when it gets hard than to face them head on. Most of us forget to realise each season last its own pace and that eventually, it has to pass.

Can you think back of reasons why you think your friends are your good friends? Can you think back of why you love your family? Can you think back of why the best songs are the saddest songs? It is because they were there with you through thick and thin, through sun and especially the rain, through summer and especially the winter. We remember them not because of the good times we all had with them but because of the saddest and most vulnerable moments that we shared.

Remember that when times are difficult, that it will pass. It will indeed, pass. Just hang in there. Sometimes, it feels like an eternity but that’s only a feeling. Don’t be so fixated on the bleakness that you don’t realize the beauty around you.

This is why each season is at it is. From happiness, eventually, we feel sad because of circumstances and situations took a turn. But from that also comes an inexplicable beauty and more importantly, hope. This hope gives birth to the light we all yearn for.

“How did we get here?”

Those were the first words uttered by Thomas Riggan in the movie, Birdman. If you haven’t watched it yet, I won’t tell you to go watch the movie immediately, not that it’s not good because it’s fantastic but because it’s not for everyone. Birdman portrays Thomas Riggan as a broken man, who once was a very iconic Hollywood star due to his portrayal of surprise surprise, the fictional superhero, Birdman. Now that his alter ego days were gone and his Hollywood exploits were long and truly over, he felt a sense of loss, loneliness and possibly depression. Everyone knew who Birdman was but no one knew who Thomas Riggan was. He wanted to feel relevant, again.

Thomas Riggan may be a hero is his movies and that Birdman was admired by millions of people but in reality, Thomas was far from a hero. What he had was ego. We have all heard all about ego before. We have it. Sports icons have it. Celebrities have it. Politicians certainly do. Psychologists will recognise ego as part of Sigmund Freud’s model of the psyche. However, most people will recognise ego as the Latin word for “I”. Thomas Riggan was in every sense of the word, a highly egotistical person. He was selfish in fact and always thought that he was the centre of the orbit.

Ego isn’t bad but an extreme form of ego definitely is. Some of us have that, don’t we? It’s almost as if it is normal to let the world revolve around us and that we asked questions relating to ego and not about anyone else. I guess ego is presumed to be the path that makes us relevant or really, making us feel happy.  When something is done in our favour and that there is instant gratification, happiness seems apparent and that simply is the best way possible. Or is it?

I’m not going to act as if I know all about the works of Aristotle or pretend to have a degree in philosophy but Aristotle does teach about this. For one to be happy, one must practice virtues. When I say practice, I mean every bit of that word. Using an analogy from a friend, if you are a musician and want to be a good guitarist, you don’t just rely on your emotions and natural talent but rather depend on countless hours of practice. For one to be truly happy, one must always keep practising virtues or rather the Aristotelian virtues which are prudence, temperance, justice and fortitude.

In the Catechism of the Catholic Church, I feel prudence is best described by the line, “the prudent man looks where he is going”. It says that prudence is the virtue that disposes practical reason to discern our true good in every circumstance and to choose the right means of achieving it. Temperance means moderation or in other words, self-control. It is about setting a balance between the heart and the mind. Then, you also have justice which is best described in the following sentence, “You shall not be partial to the poor or defer to the great, but in righteousness shall you judge your neighbour.” My personal favourite, fortitude, means the consistent tenacity in pursuing good, regardless of fear, trials and persecutions.

On top of the Aristotelian virtues, the Catholic church also added three virtues which are; faith, hope and love, which I hope you know what each one of them means. In the pursuit of true happiness, one must practice these seven virtues or so I have been told. It is not in my intention to explain what each one of these virtues are but rather introduce one to it as to what they generally are.

Having written all of that, don’t you think it is a bit silly and perhaps even outrageous to need to practice not one, not two but all seven of the virtues to be truly happy? I’m happy just eating a bar of green tea Kit Kat in my house and happy having a bowl of noodles with an egg. That’s happiness right there. But we know that’s temporary happiness. In my mind, happiness is the ultimate state one reaches and feels at one and at peace with his conscience and that one’s life is of a moral high ground. But it all seems a bit scary and complicated in truth, is it not?

No one starts being a good musician at first try. No one becomes a professional footballer in the first training session. Similarly, no one becomes a truly happy person at first go but that’s the hero’s journey. A hero is ultimately caring, tenacious, faithful, hopeful and selfless. Sure, superheroes are often depicted as broken people and in pain but they are at peace with their actions and their happiness comes from seeing the happiness of others. In actual fact, a true hero would have demonstrated all seven virtues. Reflect upon it and see if it’s true.

The virtues are learned along the way, step by step. They are not received but rather cultivated. They are not given but rather developed through pain and sadness.

I know this post is seemingly different from normal and that it is more philosophical than usual but I realized that at the beginning of the year, I wanted to expand out of my comfort zone and having all of this knowledge and insight from conversations with friends and lessons from adults, I feel I should write it out and hopefully, one will also question one’s self as to what their hero’s journey is. A regular person stumbles and falls, slides and glides, and never gets back up. But a hero will stand up and asks

“Where do we go from here?”