When I started this blog almost two years ago, I remembered a friend told me, “I want to see you writing more personal posts and your thoughts on things.” as I was writing more stories that time. I had a blog previously when I was 15 and that is now dormant. I started this one because I remembered the days I used to write stories in school and I didn’t any more as university didn’t require that. So, I wrote “The Sixth Sense” as my first post. I don’t remember what inspired me. If I recall correctly, it was the title of Mitch Albom books that did it. One title read “The Five People You Meet In Heaven”. I have never read it then but I got inspired by that and started to think about my senses and somehow we were missing something. The story wasn’t my most structurally and grammatically correct post to date but I think it was my finest idea when I looked back at it now. Little did I realize my posts were more personal as I wrote more and I found out that my friends were inspired by my emotions and struggles that I go through everyday. That gave me courage to write more personal ones because I know in my sadness and struggles, someone out there gain strength and hope.

Yesterday could have been ranked one of my saddest days in my life. I got my exam results yesterday and they weren’t the best. Thank goodness I didn’t fail anything but I almost did. It was a new low for me. At the same time, I couldn’t quite believe it but at the same time, I know it’s true. It’s just been hard. Nothing was working out for me this week. I felt my world blacking out as I doubted every single fibre in my body. I prayed. I talked about this before with a friend. What happens when you are tired of trying your best? What if your best isn’t enough? What if your faith has gotten to such a low point that you feel there’s nothing left?

I didn’t plan on telling this to anyone. Then, one by one of the blessings came rushing back to me. On my hand, I have a guy that doesn’t know me well trying to get me a job at an engineering industry the best he can. On another, I have my best friend talking to me about it and comforting me. As I got through today, someone said thanks to me for helping her pass her exams. There were a lot of things in between as well. These might seem little things but in the midst of suffering, the glimmers of hope were enough to make me get up and appreciate everything I have in life. I lost that fight along the way. I lacked energy and motivation as I got through my studies. It was frustrating no doubt but I also remembered I have people around me to help me get through this. I also remember that that especially in your lowest moment, that’s the moment you have to hope again.

I will need time. I will recover from this. The time will come again when I will give my absolute everything in what I do. Today, I shared my personal story because I know I’m not the only one that has lows in life. Everyone goes through them and they normally hide it pretty well because they don’t want to feel vulnerable. Just as I found hope from people around me, I hope you found hope from this as well. No matter what happens in your life, remember the people who remembers you. Remember the blessings God has given you. Remember that there’s always hope and it’s for you to believe. When you begin to doubt yourself, know that everyone goes through it. To quote a friend of mine, “Understandably, we all have our own journeys, but at the same time, we are on the same journey”.